It’s Somebody’s Birthday!

My baby angel has arrived!

I’m taking a baby induced blogging hiatus (and possible internet hiatus) for the next couple months.  I may come back with a few posts during the holiday season, but most likely, I will be gone until 2013.  If I don’t return before then, God bless and have a wonderful 2012!

How (NOT) to Offend a Pregnant Lady

Being 39 weeks pregnant, I thought I would help out all the non-pregnant people who may have to deal with a hormonal incubator AKA pregnant lady.

Don’t Say “You’re Huge” or “You don’t look pregnant”

Weight is a hot button issue for many women.  It doesn’t matter what size they are or how great they look to others, weight is something women do not want pointed out to them.  It’s rude.  It’s one of the rules of etiquette that will never become antiquated.  Don’t bring up someone’s weight!  Don’t do it!  I’ve been hearing “You don’t look pregnant” all pregnancy.  Even when I was seven months pregnant I heard, “I didn’t even realize you were pregnant.”  Wow.

Cupcake and Peapod: Besties for Life!

Do Say “You look cute!”

Pregnancy should be a time when a woman only hears, “You’re so cute pregnant!”  I think “cute” is best because no pregnant lady feels “beautiful” or “pretty.”  “Glowing” conjures up images of sweating, since so many women refer to “sweating” as “glowing,” so that one should be out.  Where did that even come from?

Do Think About What You’re Saying

The Awkward List had a post about what to say to someone who announces a pregnancy.  I thought about commenting on the post, but decided to incorporate it into my list.  If the person is in a commited relationship or it’s common knowledge they want a baby, “Congratulations!” is your best bet.  If you don’t know the relationship status or the person’s attitude towards parenthood, “When did you find out?”,  “How are you feeling?”, and “How far along are you?” are all good choices.  These phrases focus on the mother and her feelings.

Don’t Share A Previously Unknown Inability to Conceive

Even  more awkward than not knowing what to say when learning of a new pregnancy, announcing your pregnancy and finding out that someone has been unable to conceive.  Especially for Hunny and me.  We were not trying to have a baby.  We had been using FAM effectively and then out of nowhere, I took a pregnancy test that became positive in seconds.  Seriously.  The box said it would take five minutes and I saw the line appear almost instantly.  Telling a newly pregnant person that you have had trouble becoming pregnant is not a good idea.  At least not right when they share the news.  I’ve been trying to think of a similar situation for those who haven’t experienced this could relate to, but there isn’t one.  It’s not like when you get accepted to the college of your choice and your friend didn’t because you don’t apply to get pregnant.  It’s not like buying a car or a home and your friend hasn’t been able to save up money to do those things because you can’t save up something to get pregnant.  A woman can do all the right things and be the perfect candidate for pregnancy and not get pregnant. Then someone conceives at a drunken party and gets on a reality show on MTV.  It’s crazy.

Don’t Give Her What to Expect When Expecting

My mother-in-law got this book for me.  It was meant as a thoughtful gesture and that is how I took it.  However, do not get this book for a pregnant lady and if a pregnant lady tells you she’s thinking about getting this book, don’t let her!!!  It’s full of what can go wrong in a pregnancy and delivery and pregnant ladies can’t take Zoloft or Ativan to keep them from having a melt down about the possiblity of having complications.

NO!! TAKE IT AWAY!! WHY DID THEY MAKE A MOVIE?!?!

A much better book that is positive about childbirth is Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.  A friend got it for me two weeks ago and it made me feel much more confident about going into labor.

Comforting Read. Just a Head’s Up: There are Live Birth Pictures

When my mom was pregnant with me, she watched a news special about regular sized people giving birth to little people and was convinced and heartbroken that her child would be a little person.  I’m 5′ 5″ or 5′ 9″ depending on the shoes I’m wearing.  My dad wouldn’t let her watch another medical show for the rest of her pregnancy.  I broke down in the waiting area when the nurse gave me the information on genetic testing.  I prayed that God wouldn’t give me a special needs child, but then promised to take good care of the child if it were special needs.  Of course, I didn’t get the testing and the ultrasounds show a normal, healthy baby.  But still.  Swirling hormones plus the suggestion of harm equal an inconsolable mess.

Do Ask Permission Before Touching The Bump

I am immensly thankful that no strangers have attempted to touch my stomach.  I’ve heard horror stories of women in stores being harrassed by overly zealous strangers.  Even my close freinds have all asked me before they touch my stomach, and I am forever grateful.  I have the best family and friends in the world, though…

Don’t Ask “What Day is the Baby Coming?”

My dad has been asking me what day the doctor thinks the baby is coming for a couple months now.   I’m not having a C-section, so they don’t know.  Now when he asks, I give him the same answer, “Any day now.”  You may know someone who is having a scheduled C-section and if they know when the baby will be born, it is definitely appropriate to ask.  Otherwise, don’t stress out the pregnant lady.  She wishes she knew when the baby was coming.

Do Have a Sense of Humor

This goes for the pregnant ladies out there, too!  Yes, being pregnant is exhausting and hard, but it only lasts 40-42 weeks.  That’s not very long in the grand scheme of things.  The giraffee, one of my favorite animals, is pregnant for over a year (400-460 days)!  You have to overlook a pregnant lady’s mood swings.  She isn’t being mean on purpose.  Don’t forget to be extra nice towards the end… It’s really uncomfortable  to barely be able to walk, breathe, sit, stand, sleep, and do all those things normal and healthy people take for granted.

I hope this helps you the next time you interact with a pregnant lady.

The Name Game (Ruining Someone’s Life Before They Have the Chance)

I don’t know if I should attribute my love of naming to being a writer or if that is an innate human thing.  But I do.  I love giving things and animals names.  I named almost all of our childhood dogs (we had a lot of strays growing up).  I was even asked by a local designer to come up with names for items in her clothing line.  One of my secret dream jobs is to be the person who comes up with names for colors: crayons, paint, nail polish, lipstick, I don’t care what the product is.  In eight short weeks, I will be giving a person the name that they will be known by for the duration of their lifetime.  It’s exciting and nerve wracking.

Once we found out Peapod was a boy, I really wanted him to be Hunny Jr.  Hunny was not even remotely interested in having a son named after him.  He was vehemently against it.  I still want Peapod’s name to echo his father’s in some way, and one way I thought was for them to have the same initials.

Dmitri was a possibility.  I think Dmitri is a really cool name and I thought Hunny would approve.  Before I share a name with Hunny, I look up the meaning.  Name meanings are really important to us.  Dmitri means “follower of the god Demeter.”  Um, no, thanks.  But I’m still in love with the name.  I’m going to look up what that god stood for in Roman times.  A future character in one of my stories will have that name and the attributes a follower of that god would have.

One of my good friends was engaged to a loser some years ago.  They were going to name their daughter Penelope and call her “Penny” because they were both fans of the Penny character on Peewee’s Playhouse.  I never saw the show, but this is the character:

When I looked up names, she was with me and curious to see what Penelope meant.  First, I want you to say the name aloud.  Penelope.  It’s a mellifluous name.  It means “resembling a pig.”  Wow.  I don’t know if that is worse than the seven people who named their daughters “Moo” last year.  Shouldn’t that be some kind of crime against humanity (Of course, only in the cultures that have their cows make that sound)?  Can you imagine growing up with that name as a girl?  But the meaning of Penelope does explain this movie (An interesting concept, but poorly executed):

Hunny and I came up with some girl names before we knew what gender our baby would be.  At first, we both agreed on Chloe.  But I didn’t want people to associate our baby with Khloe Kardasian or think that she was named after a reality personality ( I just can’t call them “stars.”  They shouldn’t be called “celebrities,” either.  People who sell their souls and the souls of their family members to be on television should be called something like “slugs” or “harlots.”  Reality Harlots.  I don’t think that’s going to catch on).  We liked the name Nadia, but couldn’t agree, so one of my friends suggested combining Chloe with Nadia and compromising with Claudia.  Claudia sounds like a nice name.  It means “one who is lame.”  No matter what definition of “lame” you choose, that’s not an inspiring name.

Do you have any funny name stories?  I’d love to hear them!

Thirsty Thursday: Finding Peace

My 30 Days, 30 Movies extravaganza seemed like a great idea at the time.  I would watch the film, do some research on said film, and post it up on my blog.  Easy peasy, right?  Not so much.  My life has been more hectic since I started this endeavor than it has in several months.

First of all, this couple I know who is five months pregnant with their first child together found out their baby has a life threatening birth defect.  The doctor gave them the option of terminating the pregnancy.  I was devastated when I found out they had made the appointment to deny their baby a chance to live.  I wept over them, the doctor, and their baby.  I prayed that God would give that baby a chance and rallied all the people I knew to pray over it.  I found out about it on a Thursday.  The appointment was scheduled for that Monday.  God moved, and on Saturday I got the wonderful news that this baby was given the chance to live.  Praise the LORD!

During this critical time, I had some surprising news of my own.  There was the possibility that I would become a mother.  This made the troublesome news I had been given even worse.  I would just cry over that baby and cry about being a mother.  Hunny was excited for the possibility, and I was dumbstruck.  But we live in a tiny one bedroom apartment!  What about my writing?  What about Cupcake?  How am I going to do this?  Does God realize what’s going on right now?  That last thought made me laugh.  God knows what’s going on right now.  God knows what kind of mother I could be.  God knows we live in a tiny one bedroom apartment, and He knows where we’re going to live in five years.  God knows.  Hunny’s exuberant optimism and my asking God to give me the ability to do His will, baby or no, made me excited and hopeful about an addition to our family.

In all this turmoil, I had to put on a brave face.  My brother-in-law is getting married this year, and my mother-in-law decided to throw a bridal shower in two weeks, which gives people who might want to come hardly any notice at all.  Not to mention, my future sister-in-law showed me her choice for my bridesmaid dress.  It is absolutely lovely, but it is a form fitting dress, which poses a huge problem.  Where will the baby fit in this dress?  I didn’t want to tell anyone other than the most essential people that I might be pregnant, but  I decided since there was a better chance than not that I was pregnant, I had better let the bride know I needed a dress that David’s Bridal calls “Maternity Appropriate.”  I found a dress so that she wouldn’t have to and let her in on my secret.  She was very gracious about it and happy for me.

Even though it was a little disappointing, I found out yesterday that I will not have a child in nine months.  God knows.  He always does and He always will.

All this made for a tumultuous couple of weeks.  Throw in my blog, and I got behind.  The weight of everything was getting to me, but God reminded me of something:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.  John 14:27

The peace Jesus gives is one that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7). It is a fruit of the spirit that God grows in you (Galatians 5:22,23).  I can choose to rely on His peace, or I can freak out about everything around me.  I’m choosing peace because freaking out makes for an extremely unhappy life.

Peace be with you!