So, This Happened…

Hunny’s lunch pail is a styrofoam cooler.  He’s a tall drink of water with the metabolism of five overachievers.  If a normal person ate as much as he did, they’d be the size of a house in a matter of weeks.  He was going through his food stuffs for the next day, when he found it.

“You put a note in my lunch!”

No, I didn’t.

I braced myself for what was coming next.  I knew that there were several women at work who were “so surprised” that he was married, let alone a father (despite the wedding ring).  One lady, who inappropriately touched his hip, is quite bothersome.  She’s a middle aged lady who has burned through a batch of marriages and I guess she’s on the prowl.  Hunny told me she said that she noticed that sometimes he puts his pencil in his back pocket instead of his pouch.  Sometimes.  She watches him enough to know that.  Yikes.

“Tell me you’re joking.  Please, tell me you’re joking!”

Then he hands me this:

thenote

Hold on a minute while I go throw up.

Just looking at that note makes my physically ill.  But I don’t posses the skills to describe the lasciviousness of it.  It has to be seen.

On the one hand, Hunny and I must be doing something right if our marriage is getting attacked.  You don’t hear about people in unhappy marriages getting notes like this.  They might write a note like this.

I told Hunny that he needed to tell his manager or someone in the Human Resources department because it is unsolicited and it should be addressed.  He really didn’t want to, but he said that he would.

Although it shouldn’t have, it ruined the following day.  I had text it to my closest friends because I was so freaked out.  Two of my friends have lived through some rough times in relationships both personally and in their families.  They both wanted to make sure that Hunny was innocent.  His innocence isn’t even an issue.  If they had seen how happy he was that I left a note in his lunch pail, and how crushed to find it was from SSH, they wouldn’t have asked.  But then I started to think maybe I was wrong.  Maybe he wanted a note from SSH or anyone else…

When he came home, I waited until after dinner to ask him if he found out anything.  No one knew who wrote it.  The consensus was that it was creepy and no one there would do that.  But they did.  It in fact had happened, but the perpetrator was nonexistent.  Hunny didn’t mention it to his supervisor or Human Resources.  That’s when I fell into the doubt spiral.  He doesn’t care, maybe he wants to go to the Smoker’s Shed, maybe he likes the attention, he’s tired of me and it only took five years… And I couldn’t get out.  I ended up going to our bedroom and crying alone because I was upset and I just wanted to be alone.

I would like to say that when he came in the room, we talked immediately and I felt better.  It was more like a couple episodes of Seinfeld and Hunny cuddling me tighter than a cobra to squeeze it out of me.  He didn’t want to talk to his manager or anyone else in management because he was afraid she might be crazy.  Crazy enough to poison his lunch.

When Hunny was growing up, his next door neighbor started dating the nice lady who was renting the house next to his.  She was an elementary school counselor and got along well with his kids and the kids in the neighborhood.  All was well until she snapped and tried to kill him by poisoning his food.  Thankfully, he didn’t die and she didn’t poison anyone else.  It’s kind of hard to get the ingredients to poison people in prison.

If she’s crazy enough to poison your lunch when she’s mad, she’s going to do it now.  You never showed up to the Smoker Shed.  Don’t you want someone to know so if you end up sick after lunch, an ambulance is called or something because they know about this crazy note.  What if she keeps sending you notes?  What are you going to do then?  You have to build up a case against someone in order to get a restraining order, and you have to start with the first incident.

Hunny was convinced.  He told his manager the next day.  His manager was none too pleased and wants to confront SSH as soon as anyone finds out who it is.

Now that Hunny and I are relieved that this person will be dealt with in a way that will keep Hunny safe, we were free to go about our business.  We walked around Walmart while the car got an oil change.  Hunny was looking for exacto knives for art, and I was walking around with a cart full of cuteness.  I got hung up one aisle down, so when I reached the aisle Hunny was in, he was talking to a lady in the aisle.  She had crazy long hair, was dressed up as if she were on her way to a date, and wearing abundantly more makeup than is needed for a date.  Definitely more makeup than is required for perusing the craft aisles at Walmart.  When Hunny introduced her as someone from work, she wouldn’t look me in the eye and barely glanced at Yeeyum.  She pointed Hunny to another aisle, turned her cart around, and disappeared.  I couldn’t help but wonder, Was that SSH?

Sometimes Drama is Not Always Where You Think It’ll Be…

Other than Hunny’s former crush wearing stripper heals and constantly tucking herself back into her dress, the baby shower was not the treasure trove of material I was expecting.  When crazy party people have baby showers, you don’t expect it to be a low key, quiet kind of event.  But it was.

Something else happened.  Hunny’s Uncle had a heart attack and died.  I immediately cried upon hearing the news.  Cupcake, being three, had no idea what was so sad about a person dying.  I hope she doesn’t understand why death is sad for a long, long time.

The funeral was taking place eight hours away, and I knew Yeeyum couldn’t handle the drive.  He barely made four hours in the car and that was seriously pushing it.  So Hunny went alone with his siblings to be with extended family.  We drove forty five minutes to meet the siblings.  On the way there, Hunny told me that he was too worn out to drive on the way there and he hoped to only drive on the way back.

Hunny and I have never been apart.  Except during the day when he was gainfully employed.  Being gainfully searching for work allows one to be home on a regular basis.  I’m used to him being around almost 24/7.  You would think being around a person that much would drive you absolutely insane, but it hasn’t.  Yes, sometimes I want to run screaming.  But I never do.

A terrible thunderstorm broke out on the way back home.  The black clouds made the rain gray and the wipers going full speed made no difference.  I had to stop in a neighboring city to wait it out.  Hunny and I are texting back and forth.  Then I get back on the road home and let Hunny know that we made it home ok.

I keep getting “Love you” and “Miss you” texts without any indication that these might not be from Hunny.  Do you see where this is going?  So I text back how much I miss him and love him and that I made a mistake and I should have gone anyway because I couldn’t bare to be without him.  I got “Cool” back.  I thought that was odd, but he’s not the most astute texter and I overlooked it.  After sending a prelude to an amorous text I get, “Sorry this is Broseph cuz Hunny is driving…”

WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!

As my friend said, who I immediately freaked out about it to, “That is not cool.”  Um, hello, I don’t love my Broseph.  He’s cool and all, but no.  Why did Hunny have Broseph text me?  After that I haven’t really text him ‘Love you” today because I don’t know who is reading it!  After one such lovey text, I just wrote, “Ditto.”  Yeah.  That’s all you get from me now.

By the way, Hunny has let Broseph the Sequel answer his phone when I’ve called him & I’ve said, “Hey {Insert Embarrassing Lovey Nickname Here} only to hear, “This is Broseph the Sequel.”  Both Hunny and Broseph the Sequel laughing hysterically.  Then I had phone calls from Hunny that were actually Broseph the Sequel trying to pretend to be Hunny.  Dude!  If Hunny weren’t so cute, I’d never answer his calls or texts.  But I can’t.  That would be like ignoring this:

It’s not Yeeyum, but still AH-Dorable!

Seriously, though.  Who puts up with stuff like that?  I love Hunny too much.  I need to go to Mean Wife School or something.

12 Days of Christmas (Four Years of Marriage)

the cake

 

favor

 

the rings

Four years doesn’t sound like a long time, but when you think of all the obstacles and drama Hunny and I have overcome to get to this moment, it’s a triumph.  It is not a triumph we can claim as our own.  Before we met, Hunny and I knew God and started a relationship with Him through believing His Son.  When we got married, we built our marriage on Him.  The Bible says that a house that is built on the rock can handle the storms of life, but a house that is built on sand won’t be able to stand up to the storms (Matthew 7:24-26). It also says that rain falls on the just and the unjust alike (Matthew 5:45), so whether we like it or not, storms will come and go in our lives.  But the great part about that is we don’t have to worry about them.  We can withstand them and come out stronger for them through the strength given us by Jesus (Philippians 4:13).

Our love must be something special because of the four years we’ve been married, three couples have gotten married in December.  Of those couples, at least one person was invited or knew about our wedding.  Some of those people used ornaments for their wedding favors like we did.  Hunny and I started a trend.  A love trend.

30 Days, 30 Movies {Day 24} Murder Mystery or (The Thin Man)

This is my third William Powell movie to be featured in this 30 Days, 30 Movies series.  The first one was How to Marry a Millionaire.  He’s only in two or three scenes, but it still counts.

The Thin Man was based on the novel of the same name by Dashiell Hammett.  He wrote a series of novels with the characters Nick and Nora Charles, a husband and wife detective duo.  The title of the movie and book does not refer to Nick Charles, but since moviegoers kept calling Nick Charles “the thin man,” the studio used the name in the sequels.

My favorite part of this movie is the relationship between Nick Charles and his wife Nora.  I love that they are always lovingly teasing each other.  When they disagree, they don’t scream at each other.  It closely resembles the jokey relationship Hunny and I have, but Nick and Nora are much more witty.  I read that Dashiell Hammett based Nick and Nora’s relationship on his relationship with his girlfriend and fellow writer Lillian Helmann.

Johnny Depp is in talks to do The Thin Man remake.  I think there is a possibility that it could be phenomenal.  Who wants to join me in a campaign to make me Nora Charles?  Anyone?  Anyone?

Reminder: The contest is still on!  It will close on Friday (9/9).  I will choose and announce the winner on Saturday (9/10).

Favorite Line: Nicky, I love you because you know such lovely people.

Favorite Character: Asta

Favorite Scene: The dinner scene

Thirsty Thursday: Finding Peace

My 30 Days, 30 Movies extravaganza seemed like a great idea at the time.  I would watch the film, do some research on said film, and post it up on my blog.  Easy peasy, right?  Not so much.  My life has been more hectic since I started this endeavor than it has in several months.

First of all, this couple I know who is five months pregnant with their first child together found out their baby has a life threatening birth defect.  The doctor gave them the option of terminating the pregnancy.  I was devastated when I found out they had made the appointment to deny their baby a chance to live.  I wept over them, the doctor, and their baby.  I prayed that God would give that baby a chance and rallied all the people I knew to pray over it.  I found out about it on a Thursday.  The appointment was scheduled for that Monday.  God moved, and on Saturday I got the wonderful news that this baby was given the chance to live.  Praise the LORD!

During this critical time, I had some surprising news of my own.  There was the possibility that I would become a mother.  This made the troublesome news I had been given even worse.  I would just cry over that baby and cry about being a mother.  Hunny was excited for the possibility, and I was dumbstruck.  But we live in a tiny one bedroom apartment!  What about my writing?  What about Cupcake?  How am I going to do this?  Does God realize what’s going on right now?  That last thought made me laugh.  God knows what’s going on right now.  God knows what kind of mother I could be.  God knows we live in a tiny one bedroom apartment, and He knows where we’re going to live in five years.  God knows.  Hunny’s exuberant optimism and my asking God to give me the ability to do His will, baby or no, made me excited and hopeful about an addition to our family.

In all this turmoil, I had to put on a brave face.  My brother-in-law is getting married this year, and my mother-in-law decided to throw a bridal shower in two weeks, which gives people who might want to come hardly any notice at all.  Not to mention, my future sister-in-law showed me her choice for my bridesmaid dress.  It is absolutely lovely, but it is a form fitting dress, which poses a huge problem.  Where will the baby fit in this dress?  I didn’t want to tell anyone other than the most essential people that I might be pregnant, but  I decided since there was a better chance than not that I was pregnant, I had better let the bride know I needed a dress that David’s Bridal calls “Maternity Appropriate.”  I found a dress so that she wouldn’t have to and let her in on my secret.  She was very gracious about it and happy for me.

Even though it was a little disappointing, I found out yesterday that I will not have a child in nine months.  God knows.  He always does and He always will.

All this made for a tumultuous couple of weeks.  Throw in my blog, and I got behind.  The weight of everything was getting to me, but God reminded me of something:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.  John 14:27

The peace Jesus gives is one that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7). It is a fruit of the spirit that God grows in you (Galatians 5:22,23).  I can choose to rely on His peace, or I can freak out about everything around me.  I’m choosing peace because freaking out makes for an extremely unhappy life.

Peace be with you!

30 Days, 30 Movies {Day 2} Marilyn Monroe or (How to Marry a Millionaire)

Cupcake and the internet have conspired against me, so this review isn’t going to be very in depth.

Marilyn Monroe made 33 films.  Of the ones I have seen, my favorites are Some Like It Hot and How to Marry a Millionaire (HTMAM).  I chose HTMAM because I’m saving Some Like It Hot for another time.

HTMAM opens with an orchestra performing a medley of music from the movie.  This would never happen in a movie today, which is too bad.  Studio execs would look at six minutes of a musical performance as obligatory, but it isn’t.  That music sets the grandiose tone of this upbeat movie.

Set in “glorious, glamorous” New York City, HTMAM follows three models in their quest to wed a millionaire: Schatze, who recently got divorced from an already married con man, Pola, who never wears her glasses for fear that she won’t find a man, and Loco, a down to earth and a tad ditzy girl.  Schatze tells the girls that most people use more brain power to pick a horse to bet on than to pick a husband.  She warns the girls to use their heads and not their hearts.

I think the best part of this movie is that each girl gets what she really wants most, and it isn’t cheesy.  You don’t shake your head when Pola meets a man who tells her not to be afraid to wear glasses because she is actually prettier with her glasses on.  You don’t want to gag when Loco meets her future husband, and when Schatze does not go through marrying someone for money, you don’t sigh.  It’s not cheesy because the writing is well done.  There is an emotional connection to the characters.  This movie is a classic for a reason.  I don’t know if this has anything to do with it, but the screenplay was based on several plays.  I think Nunnally Johnson, the screenwriter, took care in preparing this script and shaping the characters.

The costumes in this movie are simply delicious.  Usually in a movie, there may be one character that I would want to emulate their style.  In this movie, there are three.  The girls participate in an elaborate fashion show, including ten outfits.  If you’re like me and live vicariously through others who live retro fabulous lives like: Casey’s Elegant Musings, Gertie’s New Blog for Better Sewing, and Tuppence Ha’penny Vintage, this movie is a must see.

Favorite Line: “Honestly, Pola, why can’t you keep those cheaters on long enough to see who you’re with?”

Favorite Character: J.D. Hanley, who tells Schatze, “I believe that nothing would be more wonderful for me than marrying you, and nothing worse for you.”  What a guy.

Favorite Scene:  When the girls find out how much money their husband’s have in the final scene of the film