Thirsty Thursday: Pink Roses

I am not a gardener. I am not all that great with indoor plants, either. I think my orchid is dead, but I can’t let it go. It was a gift from Hunny! When I saw rose bushes in the Aldi seasonal aisle, I really wanted to get one. But I wanted to be smart about it and wait until they went on sale.

Towards the end of the season, they still weren’t on sale. I love roses and even though I knew it was too late to plant them, I caved and bought two: a pink rose and a yellow rose. I’m not a yellow gal, but I thought it might be nice to try something different for a change.

The miniature rose bush my father gave me for Mother’s Day three years ago is thriving under my minimal care and attention. It had already produced a multitude of tiny velvety red roses. I had a feeling the rose blossoming season was over when I asked Hunny to plant the new additions, but I asked God if He would let the pink rose bush bloom just one flower before fall. Just because He loves me, the rose bush bloomed several pink flowers that filled the air with their perfume.

My dad happened to drop by when one of the flowers bloomed. I wanted him to see how well his present was doing, and I wanted him to see the pink rose. I didn’t want to tell him that I had prayed for God to make it bloom. It felt embarrassing. Shouldn’t I be praying about grander, loftier things? I can’t tell my dad that I asked God for a rose. It’s so stupid! In spite of my embarrassment, I added, “I prayed God would let this one bloom,” after showing him the roses. My dad didn’t laugh at me. He nodded his head and said, “Oh.” He’s a man of few words, in case you were wondering.

A month or so later, a friend came over to visit with her children and a tag-along. After Cupcake took them to see the chickens, I felt like I should say something about the roses, even though I really didn’t want to say anything! I wanted them to see how lovely they were, but I didn’t want to admit to yet another person that my prayers were so goofy. But I did it anyway. “I asked God to make this rose bush bloom, and He did. See how great they look?” My words were bolder than my feelings inside. “Cool!” My friend didn’t laugh at me, either.

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My rose bush is still blooming! This picture is from today!

Mini Roses from My Dad

Today’s picture of the roses from my dad.

Don’t be ashamed to share the small victories in your life. Any and every prayer answered is a beacon of Light. It is additional proof of God’s Love, Existence, and Mercy. We don’t know what other people are praying for and about. They may be praying for healing or salvation for a loved one or transportation or that the clothes they need will go on sale so they can afford them. God really does care about us. He cares about our big and small worries. He wants us to come to Him with everything. Even the things that may seem like nothing to others that may mean everything to us.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you; casting all your anxieties upon Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7, emphasis mine

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A Birthday Letter to My Son in Heaven

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

One year ago today, you were born into heaven. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. I know you are celebrating with our Father and my grandparents, Daddy’s grandfather whom he misses dearly, my uncle, your great uncle also born into heaven, my friends’ children born into heaven, and most recently a baby girl named Evelyn. You are so loved there. I want you to know that you are loved here as well.

After I lost you, one of my friends asked me what your name was and I didn’t have an answer for her. I asked Daddy and he didn’t have a name for you in mind. I looked at a calendar and noticed that the first letters in the months from July to November spelled “Jason.” I thought that was interesting and I immediately looked up its meaning (name meanings are important to your father and me). It means “Healer.” Even though at the time I was completely broken from losing you, “Healer” seemed to fit. I had no idea why at the time. Your Daddy liked it and we agreed: Jason Harris.

Months later, I spoke to a woman who needed to talk to someone. I listened to her. She talked to me with an air of contempt. How could I understand what she was going through? How could I realize the depth of her hurt? Did I even know pain? I told her about you. I told her that I almost died losing you. I told her that there were times I felt the crushing weight of guilt for surviving. I told her that I didn’t understand why you had to die and I got to live. I told her that I was confused and lost and ached almost continually. She cried. I told her that even though I didn’t understand, I KNEW God loves me. God has a plan. I told her that God’s love for me, what He did for me by sending Jesus to die on the cross, was the only thing that got me through the day. She cried harder. I prayed with her.

God used you to bring healing to that situation.

I don’t fully understand the cloud of witnesses and I don’t know if God allowed you to see that moment, but I wanted you to know. I am not holding a five month old in my arms. I am, however, holding you in my heart. You will always be a part of me. I know Cupcake will be so excited when she meets you in heaven. She wanted me to have another baby so badly. Your brother is too little to understand, but I know he will be happy to meet you and have a best friend waiting for him in heaven.

Thankfully, I asked God to give me a vision about whether or not I was pregnant. I took a pregnancy test that confirmed it before God gave it to me, so I wasn’t expecting one from Him. He gave me one anyway. He showed you to me. A baby with brown hair the same shade as his Daddy’s, with a smushy face, wearing a blue onesie. Just like the first time I saw Cupcake and like the vision God gave me about being pregnant at your uncle’s wedding, I will always treasure the vision of you in my heart.

I love you,

Mommy

Thirsty Thursday: Don’t Settle

Abram’s father (at this point God hadn’t changed his name to Abraham) took his family and planned to move them to the land of Canaan.  On the way, he stopped in Haran.

Terah took Abram his son and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram’s wife, and they went forth together from Ur of the Chaldeans to go into the land of Canaan, but when they came to Haran, they settled there. Genesis 11:31, emphasis mine

He settled.

Later we learn that God tells Abram his descendants will own the land of Canaan: the Promised Land.  Terah had the chance to live in the Promised Land, the land his descendants would live on and enjoy, but he never saw it.  He never experienced the land of milk and honey because he settled.  He was SO CLOSE.  When Abram moved, the next sentence says he reached Canaan.  I know it wasn’t as fast as reading the next sentence, but it doesn’t say that it took him a long time to get there.

The Bible doesn’t say why Terah gave up.  Maybe the journey had taken a toll on him and he rested a bit in Haran and never left.  Maybe he felt like, “This is good enough,” and never pursued anything better.  Don’t do that!  There are better things for you!

“I know the thoughts I think toward you,” says the LORD, “thoughts of good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

This is a direct quote from God.  There’s a future and a hope for you.  You have a Promised Land of your own.  I don’t know what that is, but you may.  Don’t settle.  Keep going until you reach it.  Then praise God for bringing you there, and enjoy the blessings of your Promise.

Thirsty Thursday: Life Vision

My hunny and I decided that we are reading through the Bible together this year.  I’m pretty excited about it.  I can honestly say I’ve never done it before, and I am pretty sure there are some books in the Old Testament that I haven’t read.

The person who I relate to most in Genesis is Joseph.  God gives him a vision for his life in the form of two dreams.  God reveals to him that he will be in a position of power and his family will bow to him.  Then Joseph shares both dreams with his family.  That didn’t go over well.  His brothers, who already hated his guts, wanted to kill him.  His father scolded him.  Joseph was his father’s favorite, so Jacob had to be pretty displeased to scold his favorite son!  (Read about it in Genesis 37:1-11)

God has a plan for your life too, and He will reveal that vision to you.  “For I know the thoughts that I have toward you, says the LORD, plans of good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope,” Jeremiah 29:11.  Don’t be alarmed when other people look down on your vision or reject it.  Joseph’s closest family member, his father, rejected God’s plan for Joseph.  It doesn’t matter what other people say and think.  What matters is what you do with the vision God gives you.  You can follow it or reject it.  The decision is yours.