Johnny Depp is Bothering Me (My Objections to Tonto)

It’s been bothering me for some time now.

Hunny is a Johnny Depp super fan dancing on the thin line between deep admiration and crazy stalker.  I push him over to the admiration side from time to time because I don’t want Hunny to skip town and move to France to gawk at JD on the regular (I would be super disappointed if he went without me).  Since Hunny has a strong man love for Johnny Depp, I find out about his comings and goings before your average person.

I remember the first time I heard that JD was going to be Tonto.  I was sitting on the floor in our living room.  Hunny was sitting on the couch, hunched over our laptop.  He let out a large, startling laugh.  “They’re doing a Lone Ranger remake.  Johnny Depp is going to be Tonto!”  Before the words registered in my mind, Hunny whipped the computer around so I could see one of the first leaked pictures of him in the Tonto makeup and garb.  “This is going to be good!”

My reaction was, They couldn’t get a Native American to play Tonto?

Hunny’s face fell.  I think his heart broke a little.  My disapproval of JD’s role choice was just as damaging to him if I had disapproved of something Hunny did.  I don’t know what it is about JD.  Hunny feels like they are one and the same.  Hunny sees himself in JD.  Except for the fact that they both attract women from the ages of 15 – 75, I can’t see it.

Seriously, though.  Tonto would be a great role for an up and coming actor.  There’s a Native American actor who is still highly sought after right now.  I think you’ve heard of him, or at the very least, heard a teenage girl squeal about him…

I know this movie is being advertised as “the next Pirates of the Carribean.”  I understand what the studio execs were thinking:  We need another period piece for our Golden Goose.  It has to be something where he can play a crazy character.  And he has to wear makeup.  The female demographic really responds to him in makeup… I know!  Cowboys and Indians haven’t been in for decades.  Let’s bring it back!  He can play an Indian!  I mean, Native American. 

But come on!  Let’s think this through a little.  Wouldn’t people be offended if he wore makeup to play an African American?  Prosthetics to play an Asian?  I think so.  At least one other blog post I’ve read agrees.

All of this doesn’t matter, because Hunny is making me watch it.  In the theater.  I can hardly watch the previews without cringing.  I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the movie, but once I see it, I’m going to let you know how I feel about it.  Is the storyline more powerful than Johnny Depp playing Tonto?  Is it grabbing enough to make me forget it?  I’ll let you know.

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One thought on “Johnny Depp is Bothering Me (My Objections to Tonto)

  1. Pingback: The Lone Ranger Reaction | Polite and (paranoid)

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