Just in case you’re new around here, let me get you up to speed (there’s some new info for the regulars, so it won’t be too boring). I’m 29 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby, although I am not doing well. I have ITP and was recently put on medicine for an infection. Hunny and I currently live in a one bedroom apartment. We’ve been looking for a place to move since last year, but we’ve been looking for a bigger place since March. We haven’t found anything nice that we can afford as of yet. Our microwave is broken and the repair man is waiting for the part, which adds unnecessary difficulty to my life. Our internet hasn’t been working properly so I haven’t been able to post my June birthday blogs. Since July is Sunday, I think I’ll save them for next year. After two years of sharing a car that I physically can’t drive (it’s a stick shift without power steering and Hunny has trouble turning the wheel sometimes), we finally got another one in November. It’s been really handy to be able to go to doctor appointments at the Maternal Fetal Specialist 45 minutes away without needing Hunny to take time off work or hitch rides. Hunny’s car started smoking and we can’t afford to fix it, so we’re down to one again.
We’re in the midst of cockroach season. I call it “cockroach season” because we’ve lived here for three years and although I believed the owners two years ago, when they said the cockroach problem was due to the adjacent Army Navy Store’s renovating, the Army Navy Store has been out of business for some time now and they’re back. Again. At the same time of year. Every year. Seems like a bug problem to me. It’s not just the building’s problem. It was my problem at 5am this morning when Hunny felt one crawling on him in the bed! I jumped out of bed, turned on the light, and covered my face. I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to see it. I know he killed it because I heard him stomp on it and flush it.
I told Hunny that I couldn’t live like this anymore. I can’t take it. I’m at the end of my rope and there seems to be no hope in sight. I was thinking we should pack up all of our stuff and put it in storage. Then we could live in a cardboard box. Storage units are cheaper than rent, and when you live in a cardboard box there’s an expectation for bugs to share your living space. Hunny said that he felt like God has something against him because everything is going wrong and we are trying so hard. God’s thoughts toward us are of good and not evil. He has a future and a hope for us. God said that to Jeremiah in the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11 was our wedding verse. Remembering this verse calmed Hunny down.
But I still couldn’t sleep. Adrenaline was keeping me up and alert. Hunny needed to get more sleep before getting up again for work, so I went into the other room to check my email. My inbox contained a devotion from Greg Laurie with an oddly appropriate title “Never Asleep” (you can read it here). God knows what is going on with us. He’s not asleep on the job. He is looking out for us. For whatever reasons I don’t understand, Hunny and I are going through a storm. But God is with us. He is going to help us make it to the other side.
No matter what is going on around us, God loves us. He has loved us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).
Hunny got this heart necklace for me as a birthday present. The back says, “Remember that you are loved.” You are. And so am I.