Unfortunately, I have always had trouble sleeping. I have memories of being four years old laying in bed, wishing I could go down the hall and watch tv with my parents or play, wondering why I couldn’t just sleep already, and trying to figure out if I could sneak out of bed without getting into trouble (no, I couldn’t). Even though I’ve been sleep impaired for 20 some odd years, I’ve never been overly tired or exhausted, even without naps.
I have never been so exhausted in my life. I am almost always tired, and when I want to sleep, my hunny wants to watch tv or talk to me or do something that requires the lights being on making sleep for me impossible. My hunny has no trouble rolling on his side and snoring. He rolls over and he’s asleep. I’m left laying there wishing I could just sleep already, wondering why he can sleep and I can’t, and trying to figure out new ways of making myself sleepy so I can SLEEP ALREADY!!
Last night, I discovered something about myself that I didn’t even know existed: I am a terrible, awful human being when I am sleep deprived. I was in a horrid mood because I didn’t get a good night’s sleep the night before and I let hunny take a nap in the afternoon (I should have taken the nap!). Late last night, I wanted to sleep. Hunny wanted to talk about things, poor guy. I said things that I shouldn’t have and laughed. How awful is that? I was no longer thinking before speaking, and it really surprised me. I don’t always THINK before I speak, but I do most of the time. I’ve learned my lesson. I have to make hunny let me sleep so that I can stay the calm, kind person I am instead of a beastly monster. Before I tell my hunny to let me sleep, I’m going to THINK:
T – Is it True?
H – Is it Helpful?
I – Is it Inspiring?
N – Is it Necessary?
K – Is it Kind?
Hopefully, I can tell him in such a way that he will understand. After all, isn’t communication the essential part of any relationship?